While many couples think the dress, the location or the party is the most important part of a wedding, mature brides and grooms recognize that the content of the ceremony is truly the most important element.

If you take your marriage ceremony seriously, then you’ll want to solemnize your commitment in a way that makes sense and has personal meaning for you. So even if you love the idea of a traditional white wedding, it's important to know that you can still improvise on the content, unless you’re planning a very traditional religious ceremony.

Consider a few alternatives, such as writing your own vows, having a friend read a favorite piece of poetry, or involving friends and family in the ceremony by having them say a few words. One couple I know did something so unique that I ended up using it in my own wedding ceremony. They put their rings into a little basket, and as part of the ceremony, passed the basket around to members of the wedding party (maid of honor, best man, bridesmaids and groomsmen) so each person could speak their own unique blessing for the couple. It’s a beautiful way to include loved ones in the ceremony. After all, if a wedding is about declaring your love to the world, then why not include the world in the wedding?

You can easily find ministers and officiants who will work with you to create the exact ceremony you want, including ceremonies with no reference to religion whatsoever, if that’s what you prefer. The ceremony should be all about you and your beliefs, and not necessarily about what tradition dictates. It’s important that the content of your ceremony expresses your own unique personality and perspective.

Finding an officiant who resonates with your beliefs and ideas is important, but perhaps even more important is that you really like this person. It’s important to meet with him or her in advance and spend at least 30 minutes discussing the type of ceremony you’d like to have. You’ll know right away if it’s a good fit, and if it’s not, then move on to the next officiant on your list. Remember, you are interviewing officiants, and you want to choose someone with whom you have intellectual, spiritual and emotional affinity. You also want someone who has a great personality and really sparkles as a public speaker. One way to determine their abilities in this area is to check their references.

There are many experienced and capable officiants in San Juan Islands that represent a wide range of spiritual and social views, so don’t hesitate to shop around! © 2010 Terri Daniel

Ministers & Officials